What Is “Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce” About?

There’s this new show on Bravo you’ve probably heard about, as it is the first “scripted” show broadcast by Bravo, labelled as many as a sort of L.A version of “Sex And The City” (which it’s not but, hey, people love a label, right?) and, last but not least, it marks Lisa Edelstein’s return to TV – fi-fucking-nally – and in a leading role, no less!

So last night was the 13th episode, season one’s finale. 13, lucky number, but apparently not for everyone…

Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce focuses on Abby McCarthy (Lisa Edelstein), a successful writer in her 40s, married to Jake (Paul Adelstein), with two children, a beautiful house, funny, eccentric, albeit sexy and successful female friends, a gay brother, etc. Sounds a bit cliché when you say it that way, and well, Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce doesn’t avoid a couple stereotypes, indeed, but thankfully, it also knows how to goes beyond that sanitized surface to dig deeper in uglier, truer, hence more sincere territories.

When the show begins, Abby earns a (comfortable) living selling books (Girlfriend’s Guides) that are, in fact, giant bullshit pieces of advice for perfect mommy wannabes who dream of being both able to be super gifted, awesome cook, totally credible and fair moms to their kids, AND super-hot and sexy, naughty lovers for their husbands. Sure… Anyway, believe it or not, it sells, until it doesn’t anymore, because actually, as it turns out, Abby’s perfect marriage postcard is a giant lie, in which she’s not happy, not sexually fulfilled, not even that self-confident as a mother. In short: she’s human, with flaws, ups and downs, doubts, and frustrations. Welcome to the real world!

So, in the first episode, Abby’s perfect little bubble bursts in a hectic succession of failures and catastrophes where everything she’s built to pretend she lived the perfect life collapses at her feet: her reputation as ‘the perfect iconic mommy’ is tarnished, her book franchise completely loses credit (well, she declares she sometimes wishes her husband was dead at a press conference so she kind of kills the golden goose herself…) and finally, since she and Jake had decided to take a “break” (Friends' fans, we all know where that leads) of course Jake finds himself a hot twenty-something to fuck so obviously, at some point, there’s just so much one can take, and Abby has no choice but to accept the consequences: she files for divorce.

Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce, alright. The title made it pretty clear right from the start, so we’re not going to pretend like this comes as a giant surprise.

But then, where do you go from there? And, actually, what is Girfriend’s Guide to Divorce about?

Once Abby accepts to file for divorce, she pretty much easily gets back into the game. OK, not after a couple of self-pitying, let’s-get-drunk-and-bitch-about-Jake-men-and-the-world-in-general (understandable) phases, but still, when she finally kicks herself in the ass and gets over the first depressing few days, she realizes that she’s single again, so why not go out and get some? If I were Lisa Edelstein, well Abby but looking like Lisa Edelstein, I wouldn’t give it a second thought! Duh.

So here’s Abby meeting that hot, sexy twenty-something guy, too, Will (Warren Christie) in a bar one night and, tada, they have sex! Now that’s only fair, sure, because why should it always be about the girl wallowing in misery when her ex gets over the breakup like a champ, by screwing young girls, and not the other way around for a change?

But… does this have to mean we should automatically root for #Wabby (God, I hate portemanteau!) aka Will and Abby to be a “thing”? Hell no!

Here’s what (and the following is something I wrote on Twitter right after episode 5, where it seems like Abby and Will could become serious, by the way): The show certainly isn't about Abby getting divorce and jumping right back into another relationship.

To me, it's about a woman’s journey to find herself. Not a man. Of course, every step of the way, I expect that Abby will, evidently, meet men that will reveal something about her to herself, but none of them are ever going to be "the one" because, I think, that’s not what the show is supposed to be about.

To be honest, I’m actually baffled by how many people root for Abby and Will, as if the storyline goal of a dramedy called Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce could possibly be about getting the lead character back into a serious relationship right after she files for divorce. As I view it, men will pass, but not stick around.

Abby needs to grow and I will even risk saying that the whole point of that show is maybe to draw a full circle... Yes, when we first meet Abby, she’s a total cliché of a mom: always focusing on her kids, doing everything perfectly, and even making a living out of telling everyone how to be the perfect spouse and mommy... Except that, while doing so, she’s completely lost track of herself, simply just as a woman. It's no surprise that Jake is distancing himself from her, and vice versa.

When the show begins, their marriage has become something more about a “partnership” which goal is to raise a family, but not a man and a woman attracted to each other, sexually and emotionally connected, anymore. So it can’t stay that way. In truth, Abby really is that woman Cleo Stevens, the new trendy author who bitches about Abby’s book, describes: she is completely uptight.

So Abby snaps. And yes, somehow, she needed to. Still, it's felt that this divorce is more something that both Abby and Jake agreed upon in spite of them than something that is the result of a totally disastrous marriage. It seems to me that they just both need fresh air, and some distance, and to have new adventures perhaps, but they don’t really look like they truly want to not feel anything anymore about each other. They still do, and it is what gives that journey a purpose. In a way, it's like they're both aware that they need to take a step back, since whoever they fell in love with has disappeared into the spiral of dull routine and parents’ obligations.

Along the way, they've both forgotten how to seduce each other, but it doesn't feel like they've given up. They're resigned, but unconsciously they can't let go, either. So they're doing what they're compelled to do: reacquainting themselves with how it feels to be free and accountable to no one. They're testing carefreeness, boundaries, and what society expects from a couple "getting a divorce”: they have new adventures, new sexual partners (that they delude themselves into considering as "boyfriend and girlfriend' for a while). They go out more, spend more time with their friends, focuses on their personal priorities more, allow themselves to be more selfish, have more "me" time when it's the other one's turn to take care of the kids. It's all about the "me" and the "more" to break the routine that had eaten their marriage alive but, eventually, they're exploring further than just that.

As I see it, they’re just, in a way, learning how to be them again, with less pretense and more honesty because there's nothing that much important at stakes anymore between the two of them. So here they are, trying to convince themselves they're divorcing, but I don't know... I feel like the whole purpose of that dramedy is not about a couple getting separated. It's about a couple that had reached a suffocating level in their relationship, and now trying to find some oxygen on their own.

And, I could even see something (but later, not now) slowly going towards Abby getting her groove back as a sexual being, finding the perfect way to exploit her new-found assertiveness by selling "Girlfriend's Guide To Divorce" in which she would reach a new target of readers and tell stories of how it can be great and fulfilling to be 40 something and single; how there is so much to do and enjoy, and how women can be strong, sexy, live new adventures, discover their body again, etc.

And then, because she will finally glow with that sparkle she'd long lost again, she and Jake would probably feel drawn to each other again, and it will be forbidden and exciting, and the circle would be complete, in a somewhat very ironic way.

Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce introduced us to Abby, the alleged perfect mommy and spouse, as she was a famous writer, owning a book franchise in which she taught women how to be successful at home, raising their kids and fulfilling their husbands, and all of that was a lie. Now, the perfect twist, in my opinion, would be to reverse that lie: Abby and Jake would fall in love again, but while being separated, and just when Abby would have found her mojo back with her new book franchise, she’d have to juggle with a new lie: pretend that she’s a free, liberated, divorced woman, while she’d secretly live a passionate, forbidden relationship with her ex. One that would be more carefree, more sexually fulfilling, less frustrating, with less bullshit and less domestic constraints. Something that would feel more essential.

[…]

Well now, the season finale has aired, and where are we at? Jake and Abby obviously still love each other. Will is a very nice guy, but he’s only been a sort of catalyst so far to free Abby from her uptight nature that's kept her femininity and sexual power locked in all those years.

After all, Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce is a dramedy. It’s about the irony of life; the fact that, often, you only realize the value of things once you’ve lost them. It’s about naively hoping for happily ever after, growing up and realizing that there is no such thing. But it’s also about realizing that second chances exist, and that life is not a loop that keeps repeating itself. Failures can turn into successes, and vice versa. Good ideas can become bad concepts. Ideals change…

That’s why Abby and Jake are the perfect focus for this show. Not Abby and Will, or Abby and whoever might be her next lover - especially when she’ll learn that Becca (Julianna Guill) is pregnant with Jake’s baby...

In their pursuit of happiness, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone tries to find the right thing to do, fails and tries again. Marti Noxon, the show creator, retweeted that from The Hollywood reporter (@THR) on her Twitter page a while ago: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/girlfriends-guide-divorce-episode-10-768523?utm_source=twitter

Yes, marriages start, and marriages end. But sometimes marriages start again, on new grounds. And eventually, wouldn’t it be the best irony if, after lots and lots of missteps, doubts, angers, resentment, reconciliations, hesitations, and the likes, Abby and Jake found each other again, just when Abby would have regained some fame via her new book franchise, advocating being single and happy?

I think it would b, in 3 or 4 more seasons from now…